Carers Week (9 to 15 June) is a national awareness campaign run by Carers UK. It’s a time to recognise the incredible contribution made by unpaid carers, and to highlight the challenges they face every day behind the scenes.
Across the UK, around seven million people are unpaid carers. That’s roughly one in ten of us. These are people who look after a family member, friend or neighbour who couldn’t manage without their support due to illness, disability, mental health needs or addiction. They’re not paid to do it. Often, it’s simply something they do out of love or duty. Even those receiving Carer’s Allowance are classed as unpaid carers.
At Mears Group, we know many of our colleagues take on this role alongside their day jobs.
My wife Heena had pancreatitis as a teenager, leading to a series of life-saving operations that involved the removal of her pancreas, gall bladder and duodenum. Despite a year-long recovery and becoming Type 1 diabetic as a result of the surgery, she recovered and went on to be an intensive care nurse for 15 years in the NHS.
It’s amazing how quickly life can change.
Heena collapsed at home in 2007 and was admitted to hospital for three weeks. It was a shock when we were told that she had developed serious complications 20 years after the original surgery, resulting in chronic pain. This has led to many hospital admissions, procedures and operations over the last 17 years and culminated in Heena having to retire from work, a job she loved, and managing her condition with medication. Heena has very limited mobility and requires support for day-to-day needs from washing, dressing to preparing meals and getting out and about on her better days, which we make the most of.
This has been a challenging time first and foremost for Heena, who is the most resilient person I will ever know. It’s also been hard for our children, Maya and Leo, who were only three years old and three months old when she was admitted to hospital. They are now 20 and 17 and are also carers with me.
We have navigated many challenges from accessing the disability benefits support system to getting carer support. We are fortunate enough to have support from social services and have a fantastic carer, Sue, who supports my wife during the day in the week. Without this, I would have been unable to work. I provide carer support at all other times in the mornings before Sue arrives, and during evenings and weekends alongside my fantastic children.
Living as a carer
I am often asked how do we cope? Firstly, there are many people in our position and unfortunately many in far more difficult circumstances. As a carer, many people can empathise but like many things, it’s only being in that position as a carer that people can really fully understand. That’s why I wanted to share my story as I have no doubt there are many unpaid carers working for Mears who have had similar experiences and can relate. The key of course, is a support network around you whether that be family, friends or colleagues. It’s a cliché, but talking about the challenges and experiences of being a carer really helps and a sympathetic ear to just listen is a real release.
The impact on our children
Maya and Leo have been through a hard time growing up watching their mum in pain and supporting her as young carers. Their experience as carers has taught them a resilience that has enabled them to not only provide care for their mum but also a great support for me. This experience has led Maya to pursue a career in the NHS and she qualifies as a paramedic in July. Leo is studying A-Levels currently and plans a career as an air traffic controller in the future. We are so proud of what they have achieved despite the challenges we face.
Support at work makes a difference
I have worked for Mears for nearly 16 years and my team and colleagues support and understanding and support has been appreciated more than they will ever know.
As a final note, I want to say that the work carers do amongst us do is invaluable to our loved ones, families, communities and wider society and we should be rightly proud of the support we provide. If you’re an unpaid carer and this story resonates with you, know that you are not alone. Your support matters deeply.
Thanks to Heena, Maya and Leo for helping me write this.